yarroway: (sw mod 3)
yarroway ([personal profile] yarroway) wrote in [community profile] sick_wilson2017-05-03 11:12 am
Entry tags:

Housewarming Party

We wanted to have a good time today, and we thought it was only right that Wilson should share in the celebration.

Wilson attends, hosts, or inadvertently hosts a party (like in that S5 bachelor party episode), and naturally things go horribly wrong.

Comment with more specific ideas of exactly what might happen to our favorite oncologist, a fic (either in the comments below or posted separately), a three-sentence story, or any other form of art you like.

Help yourself to totally-not-spiked punch while you're at it.  And please keep an eye out for oncologists trying to sneak away!
menolly_au: (Default)

[personal profile] menolly_au 2017-05-03 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I bet Cuddy was very interested in that German Porn ;) Poor Wilson - he may never live this down!
greghousesgf: (Horse)

[personal profile] greghousesgf 2017-05-03 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
ride_4ever: (Fic Choices Smut)

[personal profile] ride_4ever 2017-05-03 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Heh heh, this three-sentence fic! Great way to start off the housewarming party (well, not a great way for Wilson, but let's go ahead and be as amused as House).
taiga13: series finale (House & Wilson)

[personal profile] taiga13 2017-05-05 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
blackmare: (Default)

[personal profile] blackmare 2017-05-05 03:25 pm (UTC)(link)
He stood there mute, feeling the blood leave his face, drain out of his chest, all the way down into his feet, and then attempt to tunnel right through the floor.

There was no way out of this. He couldn't even claim the stuff wasn't his, that it, uh, belonged to House, because yes, House would own this and for House it would be no big deal. But even if everyone believed it was House's, then what? Then the question would become: what the hell was he doing with House's porn collection?

"So," he said, after that long, long, endless moment, "I'll just be changing my name and moving to Zimbabwe now."
Edited 2017-05-05 15:33 (UTC)
menolly_au: (Default)

[personal profile] menolly_au 2017-05-05 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha - House to the rescue! And Chase totally would :)
menolly_au: (Default)

[personal profile] menolly_au 2017-05-05 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
what the hell was he doing with House's porn collection?

Well,that could be a story all by itself...
menolly_au: (Default)

[personal profile] menolly_au 2017-05-04 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Wilson opened his eyes slowly and watched a blurry world come into focus. His office. He was lying on the couch in his office. He rolled his head to one side, wincing at the stab of pain that came with the motion. House was sitting there. Of course. Eating an enormous slice of cake.

"This cake tastes like crap. Oncology department parties suck."

"What happened?"

House peered at the cake. "Didn't cream the butter and sugar together properly is my guess."

Wilson would have rolled his eyes if he knew it wouldn't hurt too much.

"What happened to me? All I remember is singing happy birthday to Joanne and then nothing."

"That new intern who makes eyes at you in the cafeteria got too close and stumbled into you. You fell against the counter and managed to knock yourself out. Cameron wanted to take you down to the ER and have her way with you but I got them to bring you here instead.

"Oh. Thanks, I guess." Wilson struggled to an upright position while House watched and kept eating the crappy cake. He held a hand to his aching head and accepted the lone Vicodin that House grudgingly offered. "You can go now."

House shook his head. "It's clinic duty or this. Even with bad cake this is better."

"Glad I could help you avoid doing your job." He gingerly felt the back of his head. Yes, there was a lump there. He had the worst luck at parties. "What were you doing there anyway? I don't remember seeing you."

"Came for the cake of course. And to make sure little miss doe-eyes kept her distance. Which she didn't."

Wilson looked at House properly for the first time. Yes, there was the little drop of the eyes and look away. House was feeling guilty about something.

"This bit where Doctor Navina 'accidentally' stumbled. You wouldn't have had anything to do with that?"

"Some people are just naturally clumsy when they see a cane."

"House..." Wilson shook his head and immediately regretted it.

"Here. Let me check." House was there, shining a damned penlight into his eyes.

"I'm okay, House. Just a headache." He touched House's hand briefly in reassurance.

House sat down next to him and Wilson leaned into him, closing his eyes.

"I told everyone to stay away from your office. We have all afternoon."

Wilson smiled at the half-hopeful, half-apologetic tone. "Not today,dear. I have a concussion."

He drifted back off to sleep, knowing that House would be there when he woke up.

taiga13: series finale (House & Wilson)

[personal profile] taiga13 2017-05-05 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
(applauds) Wonderful!
blackmare: (hamster kitty)

[personal profile] blackmare 2017-05-05 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, how lovely. :-D And of course House just ...accidentally had his cane in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's not like he was jealous or anything. Which is why he's totally not feeling any guilt here. At all. None.
cuddyclothes: (Default)

[personal profile] cuddyclothes 2017-05-05 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
cuddyclothes: (Default)

[personal profile] cuddyclothes 2017-05-05 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Wilson was feeling really good. The music was loud with a pounding beat; the crowd was around him, clapping and egging him on; all of his friends and coworkers at his birthday party. He danced, whirling around in circles, the dirty martini in his glass sloshing as he spun around.

But then he felt a violent pull against his ankle, and another, and he fell to the ground with a teeth rattling thud. The martini glass shattered, a small wedge of glass wedging into his thumb.

"What--what happened?" Wilson said as Foreman and Chase lifted him up. House wrapped a paper towel around Wilson's thumb.

"You forgot to pull your pants up when you came out of the bathroom," House answered. "To fair, you can dance the hell out of Stayin' Alive with your underwear around your ankles. Not that anyone was looking at your legs."
Edited 2017-05-05 16:21 (UTC)
blackmare: (statler & waldorf)

[personal profile] blackmare 2017-05-05 05:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahhh, nice surprise on the pants-down thing! Also somewhat canonical, isn't it? :-D
taiga13: series finale (House & Wilson)

[personal profile] taiga13 2017-05-06 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
That should be PPTH's motto!
menolly_au: (Default)

[personal profile] menolly_au 2017-05-05 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Lol! Pants-less Wilson just makes the party :)
nightdog_barks: (Wilson with Duck)

[personal profile] nightdog_barks 2017-05-06 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
By Blackmare and myself, with an invaluable contribution from Perspi. :-)

The Fifth Time Wilson Promised Himself Never Again to Attend Any Bachelor Party Involving House

“Two rib fractures, one cracked collarbone, scratched cornea, large fries and a shake.”

“I only ordered half of that,” Wilson said, sighing and then wincing; sighing was just another opportunity for hurting now. He reached for the shake; the sofa cushions shifted, only a little, but in just enough of an uncomfortable direction to make him wince again. It was all for nothing anyway -- House had snatched the cup away, stealing a sip for himself first.

“Just wait,” said House, when he deigned to hand over the shake, “until the get-well guilt gifts start rolling in. I heard nursing staff pitched in for a new g-string and fishnets.”

“House … ”

“I correctly reported that you’d had a tragic accident with a stripper pole. Your fries are gonna get cold.” House stuffed several of them in his mouth, as if to set a good example, and thrust the greasy paper bag in Wilson’s direction. “If they assumed you were the dancer, well, maybe you shoulda thought that through before you starred in a porno."

Wilson spotted a french fry that had somehow evaded House's grasp and reached for it, but with his compromised depth perception, he only succeeded in grabbing a handful of air.

"Damn it," he mumbled.

"Whoa there, Jack Sparrow," House said.

"Jack isn't missing an eye," Wilson grumbled. Just to make sure he wasn't either, he touched the eye patch gently (again), feeling the reassuring curve under his fingertips.

Still there.

"But he's way cuter than the guy who is."

"I ... I would ask if you just implied I'm attractive, but my head already hurts."

"I get how body glitter in the eye could cause a scratched cornea," House said, "and how a crappy aluminum stripper pole could tragically fail in mid-strip. But what I don't get is how a dancer who can't possibly weigh more than one-twenty managed to -- "

"Velocity and sharp elbows. Also, the metal fixture at the top of the pole. Hand over the other order of fries."

"What makes you think I got two?"

"Same thing that makes me think you're probably having a hospital-wide contest to pick out my stripper name."

"The current front-runner is Crystal Balls."

"Great, I'm a drag act. I'll need sequins on the eye patch. Fries?"

"Avast, me hearties," House intoned, but as if by magic, a second paper bag of french fries appeared from beneath his bike jacket. "Foreman says thank you, by the way."

"He does? For what?"

"For making his cousin's last party as a bachelor a memorable one."

"You're the one who hired her."

"On expert advice." House started to take another fry, paused. "Or should I say, sex-pert advice." He stuck his tongue out and drew in the fry, slowly. It was disgusting.

Wilson shook his head -- surprisingly, that didn't hurt.

"But she's okay?"

"Who's okay?"

"Rio. The ... uh ... exotic dancer."

House rolled his eyes.

"She's fine, Galahad." He picked out another french fry and settled on the sofa at Wilson's side -- the right-hand, uninjured side. He nudged Wilson's knee with his own. "Turns out, she landed on something soft." The fry disappeared -- no disgusting tongue-action this time. "You know that's not her real name, right?" he said.

"I don't care about her real name. I was concerned. Like a regular person might be. You could try it sometime." Wilson was aware of the sulky sound in his own voice. He didn't much care. His ribs ached, and he was tired of reaching for shakes and fries.

House shifted beside him.

"You know the rule at Casa de Cripple," he said. "Biggest gimp in the joint gets control of the remote." He took the clicker from its spot on the coffee table and placed it in Wilson's hand. "Today, that means you."

"Just today?"

"Okay, maybe also tomorrow."

"A week."

"You don't have to stay here, you know."

"No, I don't," Wilson said. He returned the knee-bump House had given him a minute ago.

"Okay," House said. "Because I'm such a nice, generous guy, one week."


Wilson picked up the remote and began clicking through channels, finally settling on an old, familiar scene.

Gordon MacRae, wearing a nuclear-orange shirt, was riding a horse next to a field of corn. The sky was a brilliant blue. He looked utterly at peace with the world. He opened his mouth and began to sing.

"Oh, what a beautiful mooooooornin', oh, what a beautiful day ... "

House let his head fall back against the sofa. "Noooooooo," he moaned.

Wilson smiled.

Gordon was right -- it was a beautiful day.

~ fin
cuddyclothes: (Default)

[personal profile] cuddyclothes 2017-05-06 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
Heee! Oh, Wilson, you should never leave the house.
nightdog_barks: (Wilson RSL Facepalm from "Tape")

[personal profile] nightdog_barks 2017-05-07 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
It's like he's a MAGNET FOR DANGER.

blackmare: (bloodletting points)

[personal profile] blackmare 2017-05-07 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
Well, House certainly thinks Wilson should never leave hi--


nightdog_barks: (Baby Barnum)

[personal profile] nightdog_barks 2017-05-07 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you, thank you! :D
blackmare: (bomber)

[personal profile] blackmare 2017-05-07 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you, thank you, we'll be here all week. :-D

You know what'd be fun? It would be fun if someone else around here figured out how the secondary injury (because of course there would be one) happened, on account of, IDK, Wilson not having depth perception, or being forced to use his right hand instead of his left. Or because he was a little fuzzy the next day on account of the pain meds; from experience I know that oxycodone can cause WHOA DIZZINESS when you stand up.
menolly_au: (Default)

[personal profile] menolly_au 2017-05-07 11:26 am (UTC)(link)
It's the scratched cornea that makes this I think. Only Wilson could be truly so talented as to emerge from a bachelor party with a scratched cornea :) Very nice !
nightdog_barks: (Mary Rose)

[personal profile] nightdog_barks 2017-05-07 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
The scratched cornea was [personal profile] perspi's idea! I think she just wanted to see Wilson in a dashing eye-patch. :D
menolly_au: (Default)

[personal profile] menolly_au 2017-05-07 08:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I like the way her mind works then :)
nightdog_barks: (Red Devil)

[personal profile] nightdog_barks 2017-05-07 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)


And yeah. Nowhere is safe! I mean, poor Wilson could be locked in a completely bare room, and he'd manage to injure himself. Somehow. ;-)
menolly_au: (Default)

[personal profile] menolly_au 2017-05-07 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean, poor Wilson could be locked in a completely bare room, and he'd manage to injure himself. Somehow.

That sounds like a challenge :)
nightdog_barks: (Wilson RSL Hands from "Tape")

[personal profile] nightdog_barks 2017-05-09 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
Ha, I just now realized Wilson WAS locked in a completely bare room in Fourteencandles' The Body Found.

At least, I think it was completely bare. Maybe there was one blanket, but that was it.