I understand what you mean about the warning giving away the ending, but I think it's still really necessary with really serious issues. Rape would also fall into this category. I think in these cases the writer needs to concentrate more on the execution (once again no pun intended).

I have the sudden urge to try and figure out why fandom death seems to hit home more than canon death. I have no idea why I feel that way and nor being the only one makes it far more interesting.

As for satisfying deathfic, for me I just need some hope. The one deathfic that I actually liked was House/Chase. Not only was it written well, but both characters were in the whole thing and you don't actually know exactly what's going on until the very end an they end up together still. It's one of those needing hope scenarios I mentioned before.